Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

so it's been a few days since i've written but i really wanted to wait until i had enough time to really sit down and do this one. it's also been incredibly hectic and an emotional roller coaster over the past week and a half so i really wanted to make sure my head was right too. music is something that's really important to me because it is probably the biggest impact on mood, at least for me. so here it goes:

happy: "you make my dreams come true"--hall and oates, "another one bites the dust"--queen, "breathe"--fabolous, "jessie's girl"--glee version, "pursuit of happiness"--kid cudi feat. mgmt, "weekend jumpoff"--kevin michael feat. saigon, "bulletproof"--la roux, "my chick bad (remix)"--ludacris, feat. eve, trina, and diamond, "like a virgin"--glee version, "spread"--outkast, "better than you"--sam adams, "slide"--goo goo dolls, "she's the blade"--sugarcult, "jumper"--third eye blind, "real love"--toby lightman (cover), "big poppa (acoustic)"--broken concept (found it on youtube it is amazing), "we are all on drugs"--weezer, "toes"--zac brown band, "passd the dutch"--young money, "pork and beans"--weezer, "simple as.."--kid cudi, "electric feel"--mgmt, "somebody to love (remix)"--justin bieber feat. usher, "extraordinary"--liz phair, "dakota"--a rocket to the moon, "corona and lime"--shwayze, "hips don't lie"--shakira feat. wyclef jean, "heels over head"--boys like girls, "secret valentine"--we the kings, "stay here forever"--jewel, "paris tokyo"--lupe fiasco, "build me up buttercup"--the temptations, "sway"--michael buble, "california love"--tupac (feat. dr. dre), "tell me something good"--glee version, "got whatever it is"--zac brown band (my wedding song), "maybe i'm amazed"--paul mccartney (my other wedding song), "viva la white girl (remix)"--gym class heroes feat. lil' wayne, "power (remix)"--kanye west feat. jay-z and swizz beatz, "accidentally in love"--counting crows, "crazy for you"--shwayze

sad--"remembering sunday"--all time low, "half of my heart"--john mayer, "dance with my father"--luther vandross (yeah, makes me cry everytime), "speechless"--lady gaga, "why georgia"--john mayer, "a lonely september"--plain white t's, "going away to college"--blink-182

hyped: "misery"--maroon 5, "i wanna be bad"--willa ford, "hey"--3oh!3 feat. lil' jon, "show me a good time"--drake, "up all night"--drake feat. nicki minaj, "bottoms up"--trey songz feat. nicki minaj, "freakum dress"--beyonce, "what's your fantasy"--ludacris, "get you home"--shwayze, "be faithful"--fat man scoop, "like a g6"--far east movement, "on to the next one"--jay-z deat. swizz beatz, "run the show"--kat deluna feat. busta rhymes, "party at a rich dude's house"--ke$ha, "livin' the dream (i'm on a float)"--super smash brothers, "bad girlfriend"--theory of a dead man, "i got a bottle"--trina feat. missy elliott, "get busy (remix)"--sean paul feat. fat man scoop, "put your ass into it"--ice cube, "dj got us falling in love"--usher, "gimme that"--ciara, "baby got back"--sir mix-a-lot, "how low"--ludacris, "bump bump bump"--b2k feat. p. diddy, "juicy"--biggie, "live a little"--gym class heroes, "paranoid (party rock remix)"--lmfao and kanye west, "99 problems"--jay-z

yeah, it's a little OD, but i love music, so it was worth it. i definitely didn't put everything, because honestly i have to go to accounting soon and i don't have much time, so i just did what i could pretty much. also, i chose to eliminate mad and not put in so much sad because i listen to pretty much all of these to put myself in a better mood. i listen to the sad ones for a little and put on all of my happy/hyped songs after that to make me feel better, because i don't like being in a bad mood for too long if i can help it.

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

the one thing i'm most proud of from the past few days: i was finally able to truly let go of a person who just kept bringing so much negativity into my life for a long period of time. i always gave and gave, but never received. everything i gave was never reciprocated, and it's been hurting me for months. it was an incredibly unhealthy cycle of having so much hope for everything to work out only to end up being disappointed. i am one hundred percent officially done, and what i'm most proud of, is the fact that i really don't care. at this point i honestly have been drained so emotionally that i've been apathetic toward giving up on this person. i can't remember the last time i was this proud of myself.

good luck, good luck

good luck in your new bed

enjoy your nightmares honey

as you're resting your head.

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

priority numero uno: fucking rock my accounting test.
dos: get to the gym/do my workout video more. halloween is so close!
tres: reprioritize. they seem to be completely out of whack lately.
cuatro: SLEEP. A LOT.
cinco: try to get some more study time in on the weekends. as of right now i don't do much since my stress level is so high during the week that all i want to do on the weekend is relax.
seis: stop wasting the free time i do get to have. it should essentially be devoted to either sleeping or doing work if possible.
siete: take it easy. like still get everything i need to done but just not freak out about everything.
ocho: make room for some new people in my life. they deserve my time an attention.

aaand i think we're good. :)

oh and just because i've been listening to it a lot lately, it's pretty old, but always good:

you want love?

we'll make it

swim in a deep sea

of blankets

take all your big plans

and break 'em

this is bound to be a while..

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

SUNY ALBANY.

so basically, college has had the biggest impact on me. i have grown and changed so much since i've been here. even within the first like month or two of freshman year. i went back to visit my high school, and some of the teachers i've worked with over the years have noticed a bigger, positive change. they've said i seem a lot more confident and sure of myself, and i really seem to know what the hell i'm doing with my life. it's always good to hear that.

but the main thing especially is all the friends i've made here. all of these amazing wonderful people have opened up my eyes to what good friends truly are, and how much some of my friends stepped on me in high school. coming here you get to meet people from all these different places who have experienced different things and have so much to share with you. my best friends here are the greatest people in the entire world, i can guarantee that. i have had so many amazing times with them, and i will continue to for the next few years that i'm here.

the only problem with college though, is just how fast it's going by. i mean, we're almost on november already of my sophomore year. like when the hell did that happen? i'm just trying to cherish every moment i can while i'm still here, because they say you will never have a better four years of your entire life. and every summer you will be counting down the days until you can just come back. and well, whoever "they" are, they're one million percent right.

drink my beer and smoke my weed
but my good friends is all i need
pass out at three, wake up at ten
go out to eat, then do it again

man i love college..

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

my favorite superhero? never an easier question. my mother. there will never be anyone in my life who loves me more than she does (she likes to tell me that all time). i love her with every fiber of my being. i honestly don't know what i would do if i didn't have her in my life. i almost lost her to breast cancer around six years ago, and i think about it every single day. where the hell would i be without her? i can't even tell you. she's my best friend and my favorite person in the entire world. i'm actually gonna go call her right now and tell her how much i miss her. :)

the only human abnormality

is the incapacity to love.

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

well i figured since i haven't written in two days and i'm so excited about blogging again i'll just do two days' worth in one, besides the fact that i was just really anxious to do day 5. :)

obviously i had to pick the most amazing place i've ever been to: israel. i have never been somewhere so beautiful in my entire life, and i can't wait to go back this summer. and obviously since i'm me i'm gonna put up a bunch more than just one picture, and reminisce a little, it's what i do.

this is me and sam squared on top of masada, a mountain with ancient fortresses that overlooks the dead sea. we had to wake up at 3 am to make sure we were there in time for sunrise. obv our bus was late so our trip leaders were like just get off the bus and GO. soooo we turned what's supposed to be a half hour hike up the mountain into a 6-minute sprint up, and we made it just in time (the only time we were ever on time for anything, hah). it was awesome, in the literal sense of the word, to watch the sunrise from such a beautiful place. that was also a day that i know none of us are going to forget.

most of our birthright group making funny faces on top of masada. :)

this was one of the beautiful structures that was in a city called yafo, right outside tel aviv. it's a pretty area right next to the beach that has a lot of old world charm (and it probably had some of the best food and shopping in the whole state).  probably my favorite place that i'd been to the whole trip.

 me and sam squared partying it up in a bar in jerusalem on benyehuda street. one of the best nights we had out was here, ugh so much fun. peep the orange vodka cranberries (awesome drink, for the record). in order to take attendance we were all assigned a number and we had to scream it out on the bus, so aftet this we were all mindblowingly intoxicated, and it's the only time we all got out numbers right, ironically. and we're all screaming our numbers obnoxiously, and then this one girl nicole screams THIRTY FUCKING FOUR. i'm pretty sure not one person wasn't laughing. so great. i miss that night.

our whole group sitting on the edge of a cliff of the mountain on our first hike. :) what was cool was that after every hike we finished, there was an ice cream truck waiting for us. i never got ice cream because i think would be a bad choice (anchorman<3), but i just got a 2 liter bottle of water and downed that instead.

us in front of the bahai gardens in haifa. they descend down behind us, and that view. oh my, that view. there were so many places that we were taken to that had all the best views of the all the cities, and it makes you really feel when you're looking at something so breathtaking. i just wish the way i got to see it when i was there in person can be conveyed in pictures, but it never can.

me, sam squared, and sheba at the first kibbutz we stayed at. a kibbutz is basically a place where there are a lot of mini apartments and usually people work in them so they can live there. i hear a lot of people stay in some like these when they get out of the army. i think this was probably my favorite place we stayed. this was our second night in israel, and we got to just hang out and bond with everyone. one of the best nights ever, that's for sure. and yes, we are slightly shitfaced, nbd.

us and rob. rob was our best friend on the trip. see what happened was the three of us wore the same thing to the airport accidentally, and since the three of us all knew each other going into it, we looked especially unapproachable. rob was the first person to really actually sit down with us and get to know us. he is hysterical, and what i love about him is that he's completely real, no bullshit, he will give you the cold hard truth and doesn't care. we miss and love you rob!

pretty sure this is my favorite picture from the whole trip. this is us and david when we went on a bird-watching uh excursion? idk. we're in dresses because we went to a really holy city after that called tzafat. we were just having fun playing around. :)

this was our last night together on birthright. and it was by far the craziest. we were pregaming on the bus on the way to the bar. i'm pretty sure almost all of us were dancing on the bar at some point. our trip leaders, who weren't allowed to drink the whole trip, we got them blackout/throwing up/shitfaced drunk. such a good night i can't even deal.

i would include more pictures but that would just make this way too long. all i'm going to say is that it was the time of my life, and i would never take this experience back for anything.

one love, one life

let's get together

and feel alright.

one place, one home

you wanna make it where you're going

you gotta know where you're from.



Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

well this is definitely not hard at all. i stress, wayyy too much. a lot more than the average person. i bring it upon myself though, which is the worst part of the habit. i usually procrastinate hardcore and then end up realizing just how much i have to do, and then i stress. it makes me not sleep, eat properly, or work out. and not working out especially takes its toll on me, making me lethargic, and honestly for lack of better words feel like complete shit. it's been my goal this year to downplay all the stress i have, but i have been quite unsuccessful lately. and i learned this in my class about drugs on how to stop a bad habit, i am publicly committing to it on here, and telling whoever intends to read this that i am not stressing anymore:

i will work harder to complete all that i need to.
if i don't do as well as i could have, i won't beat myself up over it.
i will spend less time complaining about what i have to do, and spend more time actually doing it.

that's the plan. :)